How NOT to break the news to Grandma that you're slinging nips for a living.


Grandma Hates Nipyata!

Little did I know that this was the year I would break my poor grandmother's heart at the Thanksgiving dinner table. The afternoon was going along swell- football on TV, nips of McGillicuddy's flowing like wine. My crazy cousins were in town, one of whom we call "Pills and Booz" - needless to say we were really enjoying our Thanksgiving festivities.

After Thanksgiving dinner, I'm sitting at the table like a lazy sloppy mess while the rest of my family is hustling around picking up plates and washing dishes. My 93 year old grandmother hobbles over and sits down next to me. She's decided that it's time we do our annual catch up on life talk. 

Usually it's polite small talk. But this time, there's something different going on. There's this gleam of joy and hope in her eyes. "So how is your new business going along, William?" I didn't know she knew about Nipyata, so I was pretty excited - I immediately pictured Gram trying to break open a Stay Classy Burrito or maybe a Wild Turkey Nipyata!. Before I can tell her about Nipyata! she asks, "So you're selling baby products? Is it a company to help nourish babies?" 

Now this sweet crazy old lady thinks the Nips we sling are related to baby bottles and I'm not sure if I should get into the whole pinata thing. So I just come right out and tell her what a Nip is and that we are selling boatloads of 'em.

At that moment, as she comprehends what we are selling, she looks as if she just sucked on a lemon. She squints her eyes real tight and says, "Oh William! You mean you're selling those liquor bottles that homeless people drink?! That's just terrible." 


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