Our chief design engineer sat down for a one-on-one with the trade journal “Applied Mechanics” and became increasingly agitated with the questions. Partial transcript of the interview follows.
Applied Mechanics: Hi, thanks so much for taking the time today. We’re fascinated with the latest pinatas and we’re excited to hear about how you go from initial concept to final production.
Nipyata: Thanks for having me. How long will this take?
AM: 15 minutes, maybe longer?
N: Let’s make it quick. Care for a nip?
AM: Uh, it’s 10am, I think I’ll pass. So, you’ve been with Nipyata! since the early days?
N: I’m having a nip. The Company is only two years old, so I’d say they’re still in the “early days.” But yes, I’ve been with them for about three months when we launched the “Adult Strength” line of Nipyatas.
AM: That’s great, that’s what I wanted to ask you about.
Nipyata: I know. I was answering your question. Can I finish?
AM: I apologize.
N: Where was I?
AM: The Adult Strength Nipyatas.
N: Right. Don't do that again. Because we’re an adult piñata company we have to keep in mind that some of our customers are real backyard power swingers. You know, out there peacocking, trying to open the Nipyata in one swing, hoping to get the girl.
AM: Get the girl?
N: Yea, some guys think that if they show the ladies they can open the Nipyata with one swing, they'll be all over them.
AM: How does that usually work out?
N: Well, what would you think if you saw someone open a Nipyata in one swing?
AM: I’m not sure, I’ve never really thought about it.
N: You’d think they’re a goddam legend. Anyone who can open a Nipyata with one swing can become legendary, but legends aren't supposed to be a dime a dozen. That's why each Nipyata has a reinforced skeleton, a space frame sub-layer, and an impact resistant outer membrane. But we have to walk a fine line because we have a lot of female customers who don't usually feel the need to swing for the fences every chance they get. Plus, these need to be lightweight and easy to transport because people sometimes carry their Nipyatas for miles, depending on where they're going. So it can be tricky to find that balance of durability and user-friendliness.
AM: I see what you’re saying.
N: Are you sure? Because I don’t think you do.
AM: Can we get back to the Nipyatas? I understand the Nipyata’s outer membrane is the result of collaboration with an aerospace technology group at MIT?
N: You’re a cocky little shit, aren’t you?
AM: I guess we'll wrap this up.
N: Okay, thanks for stopping by, it’s been a pleasure. Nip for the road?