Does Your Boss Deserve a Nipyata?


A tough question to be sure, and one that starts with the classic boss-employee gift exchange conundrum.  It all starts at your first job when your boss surprises you during the holidays with a bottle of Two-Buck Chuck; you have nothing to give in return and have absolutely zero clue how to respond.  You look around your desk frantically and realize that all you have is a stack of sticky notes that you turned into an animated flip-book.  Then you realize this is a dead-end job that you're leaving soon and don't really give a shit about having nothing to gift back.  So, you say thanks and leave it at that.

Fast forward five years.  You're out of grad school, finally at another (albeit shitty) desk job that you kinda like with a boss you actually respect.  It's the holidays again, and you've been caught empty handed before so you're not gonna let it happen again.  The boss comes to your desk and hands you a nice bottle of scotch...you're stunned, BUT you're also prepared.  You reach under your desk coolly and hand her a nicely festooned package with the head of a Stay Classy Burrito poking out.  She decides the team should string it up right then and there.  After a few swings, the Nipyata is opened and the contents spill out...this is when the real gifts start being exchanged.  Your boss reaches for a nip of Fireball on the floor, turns it over and reads one of the personalized Nipyata! Fortunes you crafted in the store, "For the best boss ever!"  She howls with laughter, you get promoted on the spot, and your co-workers eye each other nervously knowing their gifts of gag scratch tickets and season one of Dirty Jobs just didn't cut it.

It's always a tricky play when it comes to exchanging gifts with the boss.  But we've learned that you just can't lose with Nipyata!.  If your boss is the fun-loving type, she'll be ecstatic when she opens the package and sees a beautifully colored pinata.  And once she realizes the real gift is what's inside - nips of alcohol, some candy, and personalized messages for her attached to each nip - you get promoted. If your boss is kind of a drip, then bring some much-needed joy to the chooch's life...he'll be thanking you later when he finally realizes that cutting loose with a nip-filled Nipyata! is the secret to happiness. That promotion won't be far behind.

Happy Holidays!

 


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